Heute schon gelacht!

Brief eines Bayern an die Nasa ... definitiv ein Klassiker ... Greet God! I write you, because you must help me. I have seen your space shuttle in the television. In colour. And so cam me the idea to make holidays in the worldroom. Without my crazy wife. I am the Kraxlhuber. The King of Bavaria was my clock-clock-grandfather. I stand on a very bad foot with my wife. Always she shouts with me. She has a shrill voice like a circle saw. She lets no good hair at me. She says I am a Schlapp - tail. She wants that I become Buergermaster. But I want not to be Buergermaster. I have nothing at the hat with the political shit. I want my Ruah. And so I want make holidays on then moon. Without my bad half. But I take my dog with me. He is a boxer. His name is Wurstl. So I want book a flight in your next Space Shuttle. But please give me not a window place. I would kotz you the rocket full, because I am not swindle free. And no standing-place please. And please do not tell my wife that I want go alone. She has a big Schrot-Gun. She would make a sieve from my ass. I need much comfort. A nice double room with bath and kloo and heating. And windows with look to the earth. So I can look through my far-glasses and see my wife working on the potatoe field. And I and my dog louhg us a branch (haehaehae). We will kringel ourself loughing (hoehoehoe)! Is was loose on the moon? I need worm weather and I hope the sun shines every day. This is very good fuer my frost-boils. I need not much. A good bread time, a good Haxn and a Mass beer. Have they chew-tobacco on the moon? If not, I bring it with. Is in the rocket place for my drive wheel? Tell the man of the moon that I come. I hope he has no wife. We can make outflights with my drive wheel. We can make crater-wandering. I bring him the Bavarian national hymn bei. We can make tobacco chewing. We can drink a lot of hopblossom-tea. I hope he is no Preiss !!! We can spuck around the bed. We can make finger-hooking. I bring the Bavarian flag with and we can dance shoeplattler around it. Have they flies on the moon? If yes, I bring my weather-frog with. De will get fat like a otter. I want make 5 weeks holidays. When you have a new rocket after 5 weeks, I wait for the next rainbow and drive with my Radl. Please make a good price - under good friends. I cannot pay so peppered prices, because my pocket money is not so much; send your answer to my neighbour Wastl Hintermoser. I have the honour. Your Alois Kraxlhuber P.S. Dont fly when is full-moon. My dog, this Pig-Bazi, becomes always epileptic and makes so much noise.

Kollegen - ziemlich fiese E-Mail... 1. E-Mail: Lieber Chef, Mein Assistent, Herr Meyer, ist immer dabei, eifrig seine Arbeit zu tun, und das mit grosser Umsicht, ohne jemals seine Zeit mit Schwätzchen mit seinen Kollegen zu verplempern. Nie lehnt er es ab, anderen zu helfen, und trotzdem schafft er sein Arbeitspensum; und sehr oft bleibt er länger im Büro, um seine Arbeit zu beenden. Manchmal arbeitet er sogar in der Mittagspause. Mein Assistent ist jemand ohne Überheblichkeit in Bezug auf seine grosse Kompetenz und überragenden Computerkenntnisse. Er ist einer der Mitarbeiter, auf die man stolz sein kann und auf deren Arbeitskraft man nicht gern verzichtet. Ich denke, dass es Zeit wird für ihn, endlich befördert zu werden, damit er nicht auf den Gedanken kommt, zu gehen. Die Firma kann davon nur profitieren. 2. E-Mail: Lieber Chef, als ich vorhin mein erstes eMail an Sie geschrieben habe, hat mein Assistent, dieser Volltrottel, dummerweise neben mir gestanden. Bitte lesen Sie meine erste Nachricht noch einmal - aber diesmal nur jede zweite Zeile.

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